I’ve lived in the Madison area for about 3 years now and last night was definitely a culmination of events. My friend, Woody, came in from California and we decided to hit up a couple bars after the reception. Woody in his nicely pressed shirt and tie and me in my AC/DC shirt there was bound to be trouble on the horizon. So Johnny O’s was of course dead at the time so we skimpered our way over to Brother’s which was pretty decent. A few ladies braved the weather and wore the way too short skirts. Then of course you had the over 40 crowd sporting their clipart tattoos.
We then hit the Red Shed were Woody had to use the bathroom, or the hole in the ground that everybody pisses in. Notably the most disgusting bathroom in all of Madison. Needless to say we ended up back at Johnny O’s. But before we went in, we had D.D.C.T-E.N.T. throwing out mad beats on their $25 boombox. Woody told them he was from Cali and asked if they’d like to come out sometime. It was priceless and we picked up two copies of their CD. Please support them, they need all the help they can get, DDCT. We went in, grabbed a couple drinks and we were outside for a smoke when we saw this guy being belittled by this girl since he thought she looked 32, rightfully so, but was really 25. They continued to harass this poor guy and then made some comments to us, may have been flirting.
We went back inside and ended up talking to them shortly when the fiesty one decides she wants shots and us to pay for it. GOLD DIGGER ALERT! Woody pulled out his wallet and took action, a couple seconds after the shots they were gone. Woody decided we needed to center ourselves, so we went for another smoke. Well Janet (32 year-old looking gold digger) and Amber decided they would do the same. Well this time Amber’s boyfriend came with her and shortly Janet’s boyfriend came outside. Probably since Janet was flirting with us. Well I laid into her about getting free dirnks etc etc. She went from fiesty to I’m cute and innocent trying to play it off. Didn’t work with me, so I continued my barrage and everyone laughed it off.
Bar time hit and no sooner we saw the couples walking behind us and Janet came over. She gave me a hug and I asked for her phone number. This is the best part. Instead of just saying no or denying me, she says she can’t because her boyfriend is right there. That’s a strong relationship! At that point Woody called me one mean drunk. Then we ran into a bachelorette party who had two suckers to sell. The bride-to-be was 21 and I proceeded to tell her that she was too young to throw her life away, but since she was from Wisconsin that’s probably all right. Her friends had the most horrified look on their face: priceless. I did buy the two suckers in case you were wondering and they sucked.
The night ended with Ian’s pizza and a cab, what more could you want.